natalie peterman – guest post!

my friend on Parelli Connect, Natalie Peterman wrote the most beautiful post the other day, i had to ask her if i could share it here.

i know there are a few of us that need to hear this right now.


Natalie and Tucker

Our quest for never ending self improvement creates an environment and mindset that is ideal for the two four letter words of horsemanship to thrive.


I SHOULD have passed my level by now, I SHOULD be spending more time with my horse, I SHOULD be able to ride out alone, I SHOULD be able to take the bridle off, I SHOULD be able to canter, I SHOULD be able to get a nice expression, I SHOULD be able to ride…I could go on but you get the point.

And then there is the other one. Not good ENOUGH, not ENOUGH time, not assertive ENOUGH, not ENOUGH respect, not ENOUGH impulsion, not ENOUGH arrows, not ENOUGH savvy, not ENOUGH land, not ENOUGH leadership, this list goes on and on as well.

So the challenge becomes…how do we strive for progress and not allow ourselves to get stuck where we are without allowing these words to take over. If we feel we are good enough how we are is there any reason to learn more? If we don’t tell ourselves we should, do we lose all responsibility for taking that next step?

Is there a balance to be had or should these words be abolished from our vocabularies forever?

I vote we abolish them!!! Change what we focus on to get to the next step and find the progress. I vote we start being kinder to ourselves and get out of our own way. I vote we tell ourselves things are exactly as they are supposed to be today. I vote we add words of being GRATEFUL and PLEASED into how we speak to ourselves.

Instead of should, let’s replace it with…it would be NICE to canter and I ENJOY the walk and trot too, it would be FUN to ride but I APPRECIATE playing online and at liberty, it would be COOL to pass a level and I LOVE how many things we can do together, it would be AWESOME to spend more time with my horse and I’m so THANKFUL to have a horse to be with.

Let’s get rid of the word enough and say…I DREAM of having more land and I am HAPPY with the home I do have. I SEE myself as becoming a better leader and I know I’m doing a GOOD job for my horse. I LOOK FORWARD to learning more arrows and I’m THRILLED to be in a program that will teach them to me, I WILL BE more savvy tomorrow because I AM way more savvy than I used to be.

The words should and enough feed the wrong wolf!”



  1. This. Is. AMAZING!! This is so insanely true, and something I’ve been trying to work on the past few months. Your state of mind has to be in the moment, calm, and flexible. This means not being critical, emotional, or reactive, which is so hard to do. This post really hit home, thank you so much for sharing! I will definitely be using “grateful” and “pleased” instead of “should” and “enough” with all my horsey and non horsey tasks!

    1. i was so blown away when i read this on parelli connect. i just HAD to ask if i could share! i too have been working on this in myself. my self talk is really poor. and that is something i need to change. if i don’t like myself then why would my horse!?

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