here are a few thoughts i have running through my mind as i play with billy:

  • introverts are running away on the inside and if you push them they can explode
  • it’s easy to loose the responsiveness (lightness) when we get too direct line
  • the circling game is good for RBI’s because it’s relaxing and consistent for them… IF i have set it up that way!  if i’ve made it a pressure cooker for billy, he will have a hard time finding the relaxation
  • there will be good expressions AND yucky ones in every session.  when they start to understand the purpose of any given pattern or game their expression will get better.
  • being consistent for billy will be the main thing.  that will mean sticking to a pattern until he is confident and relaxed.  don’t switch things up too quickly.
  • if i’m getting the yucky face expression it’s because my ask is too quick for him.  i need to wait for the change.  i think this will look like; ask, wait for his mind to get in the game, then support if need be.  if i push his body before his mind is ready he will feel unconfident and then get tense.

something that is hard for me is billy’s expression.  i have heard one too many times lately that he is “angry” or feeling unconfident about something when we are playing.  that means that i am blowing through thresholds and then causing some anxiety.  BUT something that i find i am struggling with is that no matter how long we have been together, played together and been partners, he will always have times when he feels unconfident.  i must set it up so that he can search for his confidence in me as a leader, but even still he WILL have times of being scared.  that does not mean i am a failure as a teacher or as a leader.  it just means that i need to have the ability to help him in those situations, to get to confident, faster.  hurry up and relax!  to keep him in that RBE, unconfident state, is what will damage our relationship.

one thing i feel will be important is that i take the time to warm up before every session.  especially when we are somewhere new.  i also think it’s very important that i take the time to play with him before i ever hand him over to anyone else to play with.  it’s not fair to leave him feeling unconfident in a new environment and not first give him the support he needs emotionally before handing him over to someone else.  even if  i think that person is more able to help him.  in fact, they may not be more capable.  he may need ME first.

i must always put my relationship with billy first.

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