I want it all!

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I have this terrible problem. It can be debilitating and makes life so difficult for me. It causes me to second guess myself, lose sleep, worry over every little thing I’ve done and said all day long. It causes me so much stress. It’s exhausting!

I want everyone to like me. I want people to like me, I want my horses to like me, I want my family to like me and be proud of me.

But all day long I tell myself I’m not good enough or smart enough or skinny enough or _____________ enough. You name it I’m sure I’m not good enough at it. It’s exhausting.

All I want to do is help people. It pulls at my heart when I see or hear of someone having trouble, feeling frustrated or confused and I want to help. But there is something about me that makes people think I don’t know what I’m talking about. I don’t know what it is but I get called “stupid, ignorant, an idiot, etc, etc” and people just don’t take me seriously. I don’t expect people to do everything I say because there are so many ways to achieve any end goal, but there are things that are just plain easier if you have a mentor to help. I’ve had so many wonderful mentors in my life that made learning about horses easier. I just want to help others in this way. In fact that is why I started this blog.

I share things that work and don’t work hoping to help people save their hard earned money. I share the good, the bad and the ugly here hoping my stories and hardships will help others. No one person can have all the answers but if we work together we can figure things out and help our horses and each other.

The biggest thing may be having people actually listen. If people would listen without prejudice, without thinking about ways to make each other wrong, without thinking about what they are going to say next, problems could get figured out much faster. When people get defensive and or just shut down after asking for help it doesn’t help them or their horses.

Horse ownership is complicated. There are no short cuts. They are very delicate for such a large animal. They have different digestive systems that get out of whack very easily. And things are always fine until they aren’t! Horse ownership can be very lonely if you can’t let others in to help. If you feel you can’t work with one person I really encourage you to keep reaching out to find someone you are comfortable listening to and getting help from. Even if it’s not me 😉

I don’t try to make people wrong if they don’t listen to me. Usually I just quit reaching out and offering help. But I feel so guilty about that. Then I feel like the horses suffer. It’s so hard to let that go. Does anyone else have this problem?

Maybe someday I will learn that having people like me isn’t important at all. Maybe someday I won’t let others opinions about me matter. I certainly hope so! If there is someone out there that would like to help me and be my mentor I’m ready 🙂

I am willing to take a lot of crap if what I’m doing is in the best interest of my horses. I do march to the beat of my own drummer and am often over here doing the opposite of what everyone else is doing. I just don’t always feel good about myself while breaking my own trail. Sigh.

So, I will admit it. I want people to like me. I want people to listen to me.

And I also want to be the person who doesn’t care if people like her. Who can let it go when people don’t listen.

I want it all!

8 Comments

    1. LadybugFarm

      Oh definitely!! My dad asked if it upset me when people were mean to me and when I really thought about it I decided it doesn’t upset me for myself, but for the horses that ultimately pay for their unwillingness to think outside of the box. Sigh. All I can do is keep talking!

      1. wildatheart1

        Yes I do understand that feeling! I wish everyone had to take “open mindedness” classes to train their brain to stop sticking to ideas like starfish on a rock. And the animals are the ones getting the worst out of the deal. Whereas we just end up a little bit frustrated. Keep trying I guess! You can only hope it helps some people.

  1. Victoria Roucken

    Mindy,
    What this time I am right there with you. I am down in the dumper. My life is the health and happiness of my loving miniature horses and my ragdolls cats. My husband too, but people can communicate differently. As horse people we tend to isolate ourselves from the rest and are usually not close to a neighboring farm with the same ideas or interests. So now, we go to the beat of our own drum. Thank you for helping me sample the whole horse feed. It took a lot of trust and that helping character to front the cost of shipping and wait for a check from someone you don’t even know 2000 miles away asking for help. You took the chance, it worked out. So I Like You😃.
    Saturday rushed my 7 year old miniature to clinic with founder, lethargy, they took blood for metabolic panel all fat in her blood. I will know Wednesday or Thursday. She also got a long acting antibiotic and ointment for conjunctivitis. Vet is thinking Cushing’s or ir. Can’t believe this is happening to me or her. So, I feel like my own island right now. My vet likes my attention to the situation and loves my China Cloud so be it. I respect your knowledge and opinions. I should be your neighbor.
    Victoria Roucken
    Dushore, PA

    1. LadybugFarm

      Oh Victoria I’m so sorry to hear about your little mini!! When they are sick it is so hard. We just have to try things until we hit on what works. Each horse is so so different and what works for one may not work for another. I will tell you that a friend shared a wonderful website with me today… It’s called For Love of the Horse. You can find it here:
      https://www.forloveofthehorse.com/index.php

      I have filled out their health survey forum and already heard back from them that they will go over it and get back to me next week! I will keep you posted and updated on what they say and how their system works.

      You and your mini are in my thoughts!

  2. cabinfever12

    I totally understand what you’re saying. I think I personally steer clear of people because I care too much what they think of me. It’s too stressful. Even though I really mean to give out helpful information, people either completely ignore my advice, or act as if I am a know-it-all. How can I be both ignorant and a know-it-all? If it’s any consellation, I am just starting out following my life-long dream of owning a horse and have developed a real interest in miniatures because of my 4 year-old daughter. I am looking forward to learning from you, as I do not feel that you are an idiot. To me, you are an excellent mentor and I can’t wait to learn more from you. Thank you for your loving spirit and desire to help out others.

    1. LadybugFarm

      Thank you!! I had to laugh out loud when I read that you don’t think I’m an idiot! LOL! I appreciate you saying that 🙂 I am happy to have you here and hope that you always feel free to ask any questions that come up!

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